Yes, love for others can be developed, but its true source is God.
The Bible teaches that love is not limited to emotions alone: it is a gift of God's grace, a fruit of the Spirit, and a conscious path that the Christian walks every day.
Many people ask whether it is possible to learn to love if the heart is tired, wounded, or inclined to judge. From a biblical point of view, the answer is yes: a person can cultivate love, but not simply by force of character. True love is born when we ourselves receive God's love and allow the Holy Spirit to change our hearts.
“We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
Love begins with God’s love for us
If a person tries to love others without first experiencing God’s love, they quickly become exhausted. Their patience runs out, kindness becomes selective, and service turns into a burden. But when the heart is touched by the truth that God has already loved us in Christ, then love ceases to be merely a moral duty and becomes a response of gratitude.
For the Adventist understanding, this is very important: obedience to God is not a way to earn salvation, but the fruit of a saving relationship with Him. In the same way, love for people is not a mask of “good behavior,” but the result of inner renewal. Ellen White wrote that when the love of Christ fills the heart, it naturally reveals itself in one’s attitude toward others. This is not an instant process, but it is real.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.” Gal 5:22
Love is a fruit that grows
The Bible calls love the fruit of the Spirit. Fruit does not appear in a single moment. It must be nourished, protected, and given time to grow. Therefore, do not despair if you do not yet feel great warmth toward all people. Christian love often begins with faithfulness to God in small things: not returning evil for evil, not joining in gossip, listening to the one who irritates you, sincerely praying for the one who has wronged you.
“But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” Col 3:14
This means that love can be consciously “put on” in daily life. It does not always begin with a feeling; sometimes it begins with a choice. A person can say, “Lord, today I want to treat others the way You treat me.” And often the heart gradually catches up with that obedience.
What hinders us from truly loving
Often the problem is not that we are “unable to love,” but that the heart is filled with things that choke love. This may be pride, old hurt, envy, fear of rejection, emotional exhaustion, or the habit of judging others more harshly than ourselves. Therefore, the development of love includes not only good deeds, but also honest spiritual self-examination.
God does not merely command us to love—He promises to give us a new heart. This is one of the strongest hopes for anyone who sees coldness or inner hardness within themselves.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you.” Ezek 36:26
A prayer for a new heart is not weakness, but mature faith. Only God can heal inner wounds so that a person not only restrains irritation, but truly learns to sympathize, forgive, and desire good even for those who do not respond in kind.
Biblical love is not blind softness
Sometimes people think that to love means to endure everything without limits, silently agree with evil, or allow others to destroy you. But biblical love is not lack of character. It combines gentleness and truth. It can forgive, but it does not call sin good. It can serve, but it does not support injustice. It can be tender, but it is also able to say an honest “no.”
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up… does not seek its own, is not provoked.” 1 Cor 13:4-5
Therefore, developing love for others does not mean losing discernment. Christ loved without measure, but He also exposed hypocrisy, set boundaries, and spoke the truth. True love does not destroy personhood; it reflects the character of God.
How to practically cultivate love every day
First, pray specifically. Not only, “Lord, make me better,” but, “Lord, teach me to love this person.” Second, look at people through the lens of the cross: Christ died for each one. Third, practice small steps of love—listen, do not interrupt, do not humiliate, help without gain, refrain from a harsh reply. Fourth, pray for those you find unpleasant; this is one of the strongest ways God changes the heart.
In Adventist Christianity, sanctification is understood as daily growth in Christ. Love for others is part of that process. It is not formed instantly, but it is formed truly as a person abides in the Word of God, in prayer, and in obedience to the Holy Spirit.
Conclusion.
Therefore, love for others can be developed by us only in the sense that we can consciously cooperate with God: open the heart, practice goodness, reject selfishness, and ask for renewal. But the source of true love is not human willpower, but God’s presence in the heart. When we receive God’s love, it begins to overflow to others.
A practical step for today: choose one person whom you find difficult to love, and do three things—pray for them, say something good about them before God, and do one concrete act of kindness. That is exactly how, step by step, God grows in us a love like Christ’s.
