{"id":9264,"date":"2026-05-15T00:17:41","date_gmt":"2026-05-14T22:17:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/advent-ug.org\/answers\/pokhoronni-tradytsii-shcho-mozhna-i-ne-mozhna\/"},"modified":"2026-05-15T00:17:54","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T22:17:54","slug":"pokhoronni-tradytsii-shcho-mozhna-i-ne-mozhna","status":"publish","type":"answers","link":"https:\/\/advent-ug.org\/en\/answers\/pokhoronni-tradytsii-shcho-mozhna-i-ne-mozhna\/","title":{"rendered":"What is allowed and not allowed at a funeral according to the Bible?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Funeral traditions in Ukraine are a mixture of Christianity and pre-Christian folk practices.<\/b> Covering mirrors, not listening to music, not looking out the window, not meeting the deceased\u2026 Where does all this come from? What in it is biblical, and what is folk belief? Here is an honest review of the most common traditions from a biblical perspective, without judging those who follow them, and without the \u201cfear-mongering\u201d that often accompanies this topic.<\/p>\n

General principle: what the Bible says about funerals<\/h2>\n

In the Bible, a funeral is described simply, without the rituals that accumulated later. The body is washed, wrapped in cloth, and placed in a grave (cave, tomb). The family weeps, speaks kind words about the deceased, reads Scripture, and prays.<\/p>\n

This is how the funerals of Lazarus (John 11) and Stephen (Acts 8:2) are described. No details about \u201cmirrors,\u201d \u201c20 steps from the gate,\u201d or \u201ccandles under the head.\u201d Everything is simple, honest, and humane.<\/p>\n

Most modern Slavic \u201cmandatory\u201d traditions are not from the Bible<\/b>. They appeared in folk life as an attempt to \u201cfind one\u2019s bearings\u201d in what is unclear. This does not mean that observing them is a sin. But it is important to know: the absence of a ritual will not affect the condition of the deceased<\/b>.<\/p>\n

Is it permissible to kiss the deceased<\/h2>\n

This is a question people often ask. The Bible does not forbid it. It is each person\u2019s personal choice \u2014 for some, it is important to say goodbye physically; for others, it is not.<\/p>\n

A few notes:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • From a medical point of view<\/b> \u2014 as long as no infection has been detected in the body, there is no health risk.<\/li>\n
  • Psychologically<\/b> \u2014 for many people, touch helps them accept the reality of the loss. This is not \u201csaying goodbye to the soul\u201d (the soul is not \u201cin the body\u201d \u2014 the person is asleep), but your personal gesture.<\/li>\n
  • Explain it honestly to children<\/b>. If a child wants to kiss the deceased \u2014 do not frighten them, just explain: \u201cThe body no longer has life. We are saying goodbye to dad\/mom.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Is it permissible to use the phone\/things of the deceased<\/h2>\n

    Folk tradition often says: \u201cDo not take it \u2014 it is a bad omen.\u201d The Bible does not say this. The belongings of the deceased are material objects<\/b>, not a \u201cpart of the soul.\u201d<\/p>\n

    Practical advice:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Wait.<\/b> In the first days, do not rush to sort through things. Give yourself and your family time simply to be with the reality of the loss.<\/li>\n
    2. After 40 days \u2014 3 months<\/b> start sorting things. Not a \u201crule,\u201d but a guideline that gives strength to move toward closure.<\/li>\n
    3. A phone is useful.<\/b> Through it, you can find contacts, photos, and memories. Do not be afraid to turn it on.<\/li>\n
    4. Clothing \u2014 your choice.<\/b> Some keep it, some give it to those in need. The Bible encourages generosity<\/b>: \u201cWhoever has two shirts should share with the one who has none\u201d (Luke 3:11). Giving clothes to those in need is a good way to honor the memory.<\/li>\n
    5. Valuable items \u2014 as you wish.<\/b> Some leave them to certain family members. Some sell them. Some keep them for grandchildren. No option is an \u201coffense\u201d to the deceased.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Is it okay to listen to music when someone has died<\/h2>\n

      Among the people there is a saying: \"The house should be silent for 40 days.\" This is not a biblical requirement. The Bible describes grief and weeping, but not a \"ban on music.\"<\/p>\n

      Realistically:<\/p>\n

        \n
      • In the first days, you truly may not feel like listening to music. Not \"because that's what is required,\" but because the heart does not want to.<\/li>\n
      • After a week or two, it is normal to listen again to what brings peace. Especially spiritual music, psalms.<\/li>\n
      • At funerals themselves, quiet singing and hymns are often heard. This is biblical (Acts 8:2 \u2014 \"devout men carried Stephen to his burial, and made great lamentation over him\").<\/li>\n
      • If relatives observe the \"40 days of silence,\" respect that. Do not argue in a moment of grief.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Should mirrors be covered after a death<\/h2>\n

        A folk tradition says: \"the soul may get lost in the mirror,\" or \"the soul may take someone else with it.\" The Bible gives no basis for this. The soul does not wander \u2014 it sleeps in God.<\/p>\n

        But there is a psychological<\/b> aspect: mirrors can remind people of the deceased by reflecting a familiar space without them. If the family finds this painful, covering them is fine. It is not a \"sin\" or \"superstition\" \u2014 it is a personal gesture.<\/p>\n

        Why the deceased should not be left alone<\/h2>\n

        A folk rule says: \"As long as the body is in the house, someone must sit nearby.\" The Bible has no such requirement. But there is an understandable motivation<\/b>: the family does not want their loved one to be \"alone.\" Sitting nearby is a gesture of love, not a religious duty.<\/p>\n

        If you are sitting \"on watch\" by the body:<\/p>\n